I’ve been traveling of late in a foreign country thus the combination of week’s 4 and 5. In all honesty these last two weeks have been the hardest of my life. I travelled alone, thus the trip has been filled with me crying alone in my hotel room and walking aimlessly around a foreign town for hours with a beer in my hand (public drinking is legal here).
I’m still being told by the numerous forums and subscription services i’ve signed up for that I’m over-reacting, but I just can’t shake the anxiety. It’s like it follows me throughout my days. I wake up anxious and I go to sleep anxious. So much so, that i’ve forgotten what it feels like to be normal. My biggest cause of anxiety is the swollen lymph node next to my Adam’s Apple as well as the constant phlegm in my throat. I always have to clear my throat. Next week is 6 week’s post PEP. My doctor told me testing negative then will be a very good sign.
I even went as far as going onto Youtube and finding videos of people who posted how they found out they were positive and one of the user’s was kind enough to answer questions I had on her video.
I’ve found God through this whole ordeal. And I pray that I make it out.